And in the End...

Summer was longer than usual.  Well... to be technical.  I did finish in April instead of June.  I left mid-way through May to return to Ontario.  I do not think I have ever experienced so much pain in leaving Manitoba before in all my years.  Although I knew we would see each other again, I felt as though I had been dumped once again.  This of course was illogical.  We were only dating.  It had only been a month or so.  Really I should have just gone on my way and never looked back.
Of course, me being a woman, this was not the case.  Every time some other girl posted on his wall or made a comment... I read into it more than I should have.  I tried to just ignore any posts that he made and told myself to not email him or message him.  Every day, I wanted to cry when he did not text me or chat with me when I was on the internet.  I had thought we had something.  Apparently he did not.
This went on for I don't know how long.  I basically worked my ass off in hopes of just forgetting it and pretending like it was not a big deal that he did not care.  I read my Bible, but that only made me cry more.  I could not find what God wanted me to see.  I did not know what His plan was or if I should really move on like I had before.  It was too soon to just forget everything again.
Of course, we did keep in touch, asking how things were and whatnot on rare occasion... like strangers.  I remember him always asking me what the weather was like... now I know it is because he wanted to know how the lake was, what I was experiencing.  Eventually though, we began talking like we had in the beginning.  Whenever we could.  This was more into June and my summer was nearly half over.  It almost made things worse because I missed him so greatly but could not physically be with him.  It felt like teasing, our five minute conversations.
Much of what I found difficult was from my ex telling me that I was not good enough for anybody and nobody would ever want to date me.  And then my current love interest barely spoke to me.  In early July, I had a friend's wedding in Manitoba.  We made the plan for me to meet him briefly at his work before I returned to Ontario.  I was most worried about whether it would be the same or if things would be awkward between us.
Needless to say... things picked up again.  I was not delusional in believing there had been something.  It was true.  Because I had visited him... we now made a plan for him to come visit me.  My summer was not so dismal anymore.  I had spent months as an emotional wrecking ball and I felt as though I could relax once again.  I never did actually relax of course, with my trust level in guys being out the window.  But I had faith in God and continuously told myself that He had a plan.
To be continued...